Post by l u c i d ` on Nov 13, 2007 16:25:47 GMT -5
Everything keeps bombarding me all at once!! Whenever I get over one problem, another seems to arise. =~~= Like, yesterday.. Allie some how found about Anastasia(my best friend) being bi and liking me. And you know what she does? IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND, she goes, "There's someone out there who likes you. A whole lot. They even love you."
What do I do? Stare. Calmly. and smile and go, "Well, I know who it is and I do not even have a mild attraction to them." Now my girlfriend is upset because I'm not allowed to tell and Allie should have kept her fucking mouth shut since Anastasia didn't want anyone else to know.
And then. And then. I get violently ill this morning. I mean.. IIIIILLLLLL. To the point where I started doubling over in pain during first hour, crying. And it's not those kind of cramps. No. Ha ha. Thought so, but those were the minor pain underneath the uber stomach cramps. It felt like someone was taking my stomach and then squeezing it. Super. Tight. And I had a super bad fever. And the icing on that cupcake? My mom just went "Suck it up." =] <3
And Auntie Scarlett came to visit. Both of them. And both are mean, mean bitches.
x__x Ugh, and yesterday my cousin IMed me and (this is the cousin who I thought I could trust but she seems to be spilling all my secrets to her mom. Who is an ignorant, narrow-minded bible thumper) we were talking and I jokingly went, "I'm a fat kid." and from this stemmed a horribly serious conversation. We talked about my stint of anorexia and how I'm a "recovering addict that could reform any time." Huh?! And she says SHE'S WORRYING OVER ME. -laughs.- OVER ME!!!
She should be worrying over something serious like.. oh, I don't know.. Me getting addicted to alcohol (considering everyone on my dads side of the family are alcoholics and I used to drink when I was twelve and so...). I could start cutting again.. (I was a cutter for two years =/). But anorexia? I'm pretty much over that. Granted, I have thoughts of starving myself, but I no longer have the drive to do it. xP
And, for some reason, self-esteem issues have hit me full force again. I hate it. I HATE IT!!!
-ends rant.-
What do I do? Stare. Calmly. and smile and go, "Well, I know who it is and I do not even have a mild attraction to them." Now my girlfriend is upset because I'm not allowed to tell and Allie should have kept her fucking mouth shut since Anastasia didn't want anyone else to know.
And then. And then. I get violently ill this morning. I mean.. IIIIILLLLLL. To the point where I started doubling over in pain during first hour, crying. And it's not those kind of cramps. No. Ha ha. Thought so, but those were the minor pain underneath the uber stomach cramps. It felt like someone was taking my stomach and then squeezing it. Super. Tight. And I had a super bad fever. And the icing on that cupcake? My mom just went "Suck it up." =] <3
And Auntie Scarlett came to visit. Both of them. And both are mean, mean bitches.
x__x Ugh, and yesterday my cousin IMed me and (this is the cousin who I thought I could trust but she seems to be spilling all my secrets to her mom. Who is an ignorant, narrow-minded bible thumper) we were talking and I jokingly went, "I'm a fat kid." and from this stemmed a horribly serious conversation. We talked about my stint of anorexia and how I'm a "recovering addict that could reform any time." Huh?! And she says SHE'S WORRYING OVER ME. -laughs.- OVER ME!!!
She should be worrying over something serious like.. oh, I don't know.. Me getting addicted to alcohol (considering everyone on my dads side of the family are alcoholics and I used to drink when I was twelve and so...). I could start cutting again.. (I was a cutter for two years =/). But anorexia? I'm pretty much over that. Granted, I have thoughts of starving myself, but I no longer have the drive to do it. xP
And, for some reason, self-esteem issues have hit me full force again. I hate it. I HATE IT!!!
-ends rant.-
