Post by Lunar Tragedy on Dec 23, 2007 3:17:56 GMT -5
Why do I let these things effect me so much? Why do I let this hurt me so bad when it doesn't matter whether or not I even notice? Why do I make myself sick with worry over someone who would prefer I just silence myself and leave them alone?
Why do I keep asking why when I know I'll receive no answer? And, even if I should receive one, what am I to do with it? I'll never be satisfied, it seems, and yet I don't stop trying... Why? Am I really that naive, that hopeless?
I'm worried about several different people, and several different things... One hurts me the most, and, ironically, that's the one that I have the least clue on how to solve/deal with... I want to make them smile like they deserve to, but I can't... And the one that can has too many problems to try as hard as she should.
I can't stop crying, and I hate crying more than I hate these questions... My friends parents are arguing in the background... their dog is dying audibly in a corner, and if he yelps any louder, I know I'll break down even more noticeably....
I hate this. I hate me.... I make up for what I don't hold against others by holding it against myself and viewing it like a famous critic with a magnifying glass and instant replay button... And there's nothing I feel that I can do to stop it.
...Why can't I make this stop hurting? Why am I even writing this? I don't know if I want advice. I don't know if I want someone to read it... I don't know... I wish I did... I wish someone else did, and could tell me.
I want words, a response... not neccessarily advice at all, I guess... it's not neccessary... but please, whatever you do, don't give me any more questions. I'm done with them.
This hurts like hell
Why do I keep asking why when I know I'll receive no answer? And, even if I should receive one, what am I to do with it? I'll never be satisfied, it seems, and yet I don't stop trying... Why? Am I really that naive, that hopeless?
I'm worried about several different people, and several different things... One hurts me the most, and, ironically, that's the one that I have the least clue on how to solve/deal with... I want to make them smile like they deserve to, but I can't... And the one that can has too many problems to try as hard as she should.
I can't stop crying, and I hate crying more than I hate these questions... My friends parents are arguing in the background... their dog is dying audibly in a corner, and if he yelps any louder, I know I'll break down even more noticeably....
I hate this. I hate me.... I make up for what I don't hold against others by holding it against myself and viewing it like a famous critic with a magnifying glass and instant replay button... And there's nothing I feel that I can do to stop it.
...Why can't I make this stop hurting? Why am I even writing this? I don't know if I want advice. I don't know if I want someone to read it... I don't know... I wish I did... I wish someone else did, and could tell me.
I want words, a response... not neccessarily advice at all, I guess... it's not neccessary... but please, whatever you do, don't give me any more questions. I'm done with them.
This hurts like hell