convincing

[.Jossachu.]

When you get upset with someone, does that mean you hate them? I don't think it does but a certain somebody somehow thinks that it's so. So if you're upset with someone for a day, you hate them for that day then get over your hatred? I'm not sure if that's how it works, but okay.

If someone thinks you're upset with them, how do you convince them otherwise? I've had this dilemma for a while now, and I'm not quite sure what to do abotu it, sure I still talk with the person, but it nags at me that we never exactly hugged and made up about it. It was more like "Forget about it, it's no big deal" but it IS a big deal, and I'm going to WORRY FOR AGES about it, even though that sounds horribly stupid. I don't want my friend thinking I'm upset with them when I'm not, and I don't know how to tell them otherwise except through word of mouth. No matter what I say, though, it never seems to be enough and I end up frustrated and they walk off dejected, and the matters seem to only get worse. It's gotten to the point where they flinch every time I open my mouth to say something. I'm at a loss, honestly.

I've tried talking and being patient, but I can't seem to convince them otherwise.

I'm actually hoping that this will blow over, because this friend has been wary of everyone lately, they've been hiding in the orchestra room rather than coming to lunch every day for the past few weeks.

I still can't help but worry.

[Lunar Tragedy]

It sounds to me like your friends issues are far beyond just you... Sure, they're having trouble trusting in your word, but if they're hiding from everyone, then it can't be entirely your fault that you're unable to convince them.

Are you the type of person who's honest to that person when you're upset with them? Do you let them know if something's not okay? Because, if not, your friend may know that and think "Hey, well, if she can lie about being upset with (name), then why wouldn't she be doing the same to me?!"

Thoughts like that, or any doubt in general really, harms friendships and relationships, and if you just leave it be, then it may grow into something much worse than just a mild discomfort. It could hurt your friendship severely in the end, so I suggest that you take a close look at why your friend thinks you're upset. Are you doing something cruel? anything wrong?

I hope this helps... I don't really know you or the situation, I just felt like responding. I'm sorry if it really gets you nowhere, though.

[.Jossachu.]

I'm aware that the problem is beyond me. I tend to have issues thinking it's my fault even if it isn't...

I am honest when I'm upset, I don't like something I fuss about it, constantly. (I'm very vocal when displeased) I'll be visually miffed at who/whatever I'm mad at until we make up/the problem's fixed...I've never been upset with this friend, though. Ever. I've never yelled at this person, or anything.
But it's like a pattern, my friend tends to be this way for long periods of time, then everything's okay for a while, then they hit rock bottom, then it's like "OMG THE WORLD IS GREAT!" then they'll start hiding again.

I'm not sure what it's about, ever. No one likes to fill me in, I'll ask and they're never clear about what's going on, either. You ask what's wrong, they talk about the weather, and they'll talk about it like it's horribly important, too. It's like some sort of odd game.

I've tried to figure out what the problem is/has been. I still haven't come up with anything...
They're still being wary of everyone in general, and it's been....a while. a long while....I don't like not knowing what's going on.